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March 3rd, 2008
Hi Alexis
I have been seeing this guy since April of last year but we officially started dating in September. We have been having some issues lately because I feel like he’d rather hang out with his friends than me.
I see him quite a bit during the week like Sunday, Monday and Wednesdays. He’s mentioned to me on numerous occasions that when he is chilling with his friends and their girls aren’t around, I won’t be invited. I understand that because I really don’t want him tagging along when I am chilling with my girls.
The strange thing that I didn’t like was that over the weekend we went out to a club; he went with his friends and I went with mine. We saw each other and he said that he was only chilling with his boys. There were girls around them and the thing that I couldn’t understand is why he didn’t ask me to go and chill with them. He just came around where my girls and I were hanging out and then went back to his friends. He just did that all night!
I am going on vacation soon and I asked him to take me to the airport. I will need to be at the airport by 4am on Saturday. He said he wouldn’t be able to take me because Friday is the only night that he gets to chill with his friends and that he’s going to a party on Saturday night and he didn’t want to be exhausted. That hurt my feelings because I realized just then how low on the totem pole I really was. I asked if roles were reversed how he would feel. All he said was that he didn’t have time to talk about it and that I should call him later on.
I am at my wits end with this guy. I try to hard to keep my cool and not get upset about these situations but I really don’t think that I deserve to be treated like this. It’s going to be almost a year and I am not sure if I even want to try for another. I just wish that he wasn’t so one-sided and would listen to me when I tell him how I feel about certain situation.
All I want to know is do you think that I should try to work things out with him? I need your help because I might do something that I am going to regret.
Everyone has their limits...
Extremely Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
I think the only thing you could possibly regret when it comes to this guy is not dumping his ass. I can’t believe he restricts you to three nights a week, correction: three weeknights a week and calls it a relationship.
I guess my question is does he call it a relationship? You said that you’ve been “officially dating” since September. What does that mean? Does he acknowledge that you are a couple? If he does, I wonder what exactly that means to him…
Even if he could be forgiven because there is some kind of discrepancy in the definition of your relationship, I don’t think he can be forgiven for his behaviour at the club the other night. If he’s with his boys and you’re with your girls, I get it. It’s admittedly awkward but somewhat explainable. However, if some of those guys have girls there, why shouldn’t you be with your man?
I think I know what you want to hear but I’m just not going to try to save this one. I think your fella is just way too selfish to be a candidate for a loving, fulfilling relationship. You are correct that you do not deserve to be treated like this. Get rid of him TODAY and start to move forward. There are plenty of guys out there who would be proud to take you out on Friday AND Saturday night. Don’t waste another minute on someone that doesn’t deserve you!
Good Luck!
AB
Alexis Brown
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