Dear Unknown,

How perfect is your relationship with your boyfriend? You haven’t said that you have any reason to believe that he’s carrying on with this other woman. Ask yourself how much you trust him? Why? Why not? I’m going on the assumption that nothing wrong is happening. Of course, if something wrong is happening, you will have a different set of choices.

I hear you about this pesky girl. There will always be other women eyeing your man and yes, it is irritating. But if you trust him, and trust his feelings for you, you’ll know that nothing funny is going on. Give him some credit, he can probably see that this girl is just fishing for compliments and if he’s a bright guy, he’ll see it for the lame scam that it is.

Why do you suspect they’ve had past feelings? And if he wanted to be with her instead of you, why isn’t he? The fact is, he’s chosen you, so just let him be with you. As women, we sometimes let our insecurities get the better of us, but don’t. He’s not dating the insecure, jealous you…he wants to be with the secure, confident you.

Give him the opportunity to see who she really is, and the opportunity to see who you really are (i.e. strong and confident) and he won’t be fooled by her silly games. Trust him, have faith in your relationship and it can only grow.

Good luck!



Alexis Brown

Dear Sad,

The first thing you should do is figure out what it is you’re looking for. Why is it that you want a boyfriend so badly? Perhaps some of the things you’re looking for can be met in other ways.

I think you’re right that rushing in isn’t always the best. Sometimes whey you really, really want something, you settle for the first thing that comes along instead of what’s best for you. Ever starving at dinner and fill up on bread because you’re so hungry? Then when dinner comes, you don’t have any more room?

One thing I’ve found about the Universe is that it has a peculiar sense of humour. When I’m looking for something, no matter what it is, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FIND IT until I stop searching.

True story: I lost a pair of earrings three weeks ago. For days, I searched high and low for these stupid earrings. Tore apart my entire bedroom but they weren’t anywhere. Finally, a week later, I decided to just replace them…they weren’t very expensive. So I go back to the store and of course they don’t have them anymore. That made me really, really sad. Although they were cheap, I really liked them.

So I go home, all bummed out. And then I say to myself “they’re only earrings.” And I think about all the things I have to be happy about and how good life is and how grateful I am for all my blessings, and I make myself happy again. Guess what? The stupid earrings turned up THAT AFTERNOON!  (in a place I KNOW I checked a million times, but I guess I wasn’t ready to find them)

My point:  as soon as you decide you can live without something; there it is. I think it’s the Universe’s way of telling you to appreciate what is already in your life.

So, look at all the things that bring you joy. Enjoy your friends, enjoy your hobbies and work hard at school. Be grateful for everything you have. Decide you don’t need a boyfriend and MEAN IT. Instead of focusing on what’s missing in your life, focus on what’s there. I promise you, a boyfriend, just like those stupid earrings, will appear as soon as you decide you don’t need one.

Once you change your attitude you’re likely to end up with a bunch of choices, and you won’t be in a hurry to “couple up.” You’ll have the guy you want and not just first guy that comes along!

Good luck!



Alexis Brown