Dear Overburdened,

You’ve asked me what to do. Here’s your answer: Stop. Feeling. Responsible.

She is not your responsibility. You are your responsibility. Provided you don’t’ have any young children, your responsibility ends with you. You are responsible for your own well-being and your ex is responsible for hers.

Riddle me this: if you’re worrying about her, and she’s worrying about her, who’s worrying about you? Answer: nobody. And that’s just not cool.

I’m assuming you are both adults. I’m assuming that the situation in which you find yourself may have something to do with the reason you broke up. Here’s the deal, you haven’t really broken up if you’re still worrying about / taking care of her. The only thing that’s changed is that you’re probably not getting any of the, ahem, benefits.

You say you want to build your new life. You should. You deserve it, everyone does. Including your ex. I’m not clear on whether she’s ‘asking’ you to continue to feel responsible or whether you’re just taking it on yourself. Either way, it’s not helping her. You both need to move on and the only way that will happen is if you aren’t dependent on each other. Cut the ties. You’re only responsible for yourself. If you don’t cut those ties and move on, you will continue to resent her. At the end of the day, staying or going really is your choice. Choose to start fresh. Rebuild your life brick by brick. Move on, brother, and just don’t look back!

Good luck!



Alexis Brown