Dear Unwilling Cougar,

First thing you need to remember: it only takes one. So, when all the creeps, jerks and turkeys start to get you down, remember, you really only need one nice guy. 

Second thing, do you have your list? Go back to my column of April 26th. (You may also want to check out the second post on March 29^th.) Do the exercise, the list is important. Make sure you know what you’re looking for.

Now, the approach: if you are intimidating men and they assume you are taken, I’m going to assume that you are a strong powerful woman, yes? Maybe you’re the take-no-prisoners, type (not unlike yours truly) kinda hardcore, not afraid of anything, etc etc etc… So why, dear girl, wouldn’t you ask a guy for his number?

I know you; you’re the one that asks for the manager when the service is crappy, you speak up in meetings and you have the best stories at all the dinner parties. You aren’t afraid to go for what you want in other areas of your life, why stop now?

Yes, you may get rejected the odd time, but I promise you don’t want to be with that guy anyway. You don’t really have anything to lose. Guys have been going through this for centuries. Yes, it will be hard at first but try it out a few times and see how it feels. The best part is, you’ll be putting the control into your own hands… no more waiting around to see if he’s going to call.

The other thing I’m going to tell you is to be approachable. After centuries of rejection, guys, not unlike dogs, have a developed a spidey sense as to who is going to be nice to them and who’s going to give them the Heisman. Be open, be free, tell yourself you’re going to say yes. Smile, flirt and suggest through the way you carry yourself that you are single, available and approachable, and just watch the magnetism start to work!

Good luck!



Alexis Brown