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July 30th, 2007
Alexis,
My wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 3 and we have a 2 year old daughter. We both work, but her hours are more flexible than mine, so she gets to spend a lot of time with our daughter during the day. The rest of the time she (our daughter) goes to day care.
Yesterday, she took her to the zoo. There’s a group of moms in our neighbourhood that do that kind of thing once or twice a week. Anyway, yesterday was different because she went with a dad and his son.
I wasn’t really sweating it until a buddy of mine was all “dude, why didn’t she go with the other moms?” and acting like I should be more freaked.
Alexis, should I be freaked?
Dear Disturbed Dad,
Trust your gut. You weren’t freaked until your pal freaked you out. You know that you have nothing to worry about. So don’t.
Intuition is a miraculous thing. It (usually) kicks in when it needs to and powers down when it’s not necessary. Kind of like cars with all-wheel drive. .. If there were something weird happening with the “other dad” your Spidey Sense would have told you to be concerned. As it was, your wife wasn’t secretive about the “date” and didn’t show any signs of funny business, so you should be cool. Besides, it wasn’t a date, it was a play date. Surely, in your line of work, you have meetings with women that your wife doesn’t (and shouldn’t) worry about?
All that being said, it can’t hurt you to keep your eyes open, but don’t change your behaviour or get suspicious of her, especially when she’s done nothing to deserve it. You could create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The best thing you can do is make sure you dedicate time to the relationship and stay in love. If you two are happy and you both know it, you’ll realise that you were totally right not to sweat it.
Take care,
Alexis Brown
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