Dear LC,

You’ve asked me for help on how to convince your man to move in together. Here’s the thing, I don’t really think you should be trying to convince him. He’s obviously resisting for a reason. What if his reason is valid? What will it do to your relationship if you push him into a situation that isn’t what he wants? How do you think he’ll feel about you then?

Here’s the deal, he may have his reasons, or he may, like so many men, just be reluctant to change (sorry for the generalization fellas, but you’ve earned it). Either way, you’re not going to find out unless you have a frank, open and honest conversation with him.

His reason could be about you and the relationship or it could be something as small as wondering where he’ll store his smelly hockey stuff. You won’t know until you talk. Call him on the finances thing. Tell him you know it’s BS (shouldn’t you save money by living together?) and there’s obviously another reason and you will try to respect his reason but he needs to communicate it with you.

Then, do your best to respect his reason and see if you can work on a solution together. At the same time, it’s fair to communicate your feelings. If you feel the relationship needs this step to progress, then say so. Just don’t make any false threats. If you plan to threaten this as a possible breaking point, then you must be prepared to lose him.

Ideally, you’ll both be truthful with each other and be able to negotiate a plan. As with any negotiation, be ready to ask for what you want and be prepared to compromise. Don’t forget it’s about giving in addition to just taking.

Good Luck!



Alexis Brown