Dear Confused,

The first thing you should do is give yourself a pat on the back for dumping this loser. This is one of the most absurd tales I’ve ever encountered.

I’m not a lawyer and I won’t pretend that I’m qualified to dispense legal advice in any way, so you just may want to ask one to be sure (any readers that are lawyers, please feel free to write in btw.)

Truth be told, I think you need to do what’s in your heart. My first reaction would be to tell him to stuff it and see me in court. But on second thought, there are a few factors I’d consider. For example, his financial situation. If he was really hurting for cash and the money he spent on me was a stretch for him, I maybe, maybe just might send him some small portion of the money just to get him off my case and to make me feel better about the whole story.

I’d also consider the equity of the situation. What’s your financial situation? Did you give him gifts and treat to the occasional meal?  How do the two of you compare in income? If he makes considerably more (or less) than you, that would definitely dictate how I approach the invoice.

I don’t think you owe him a single penny. I believe in giving gifts, in treating to dinners and generosity in general. When we give gifts or treat a person, if it’s true generosity, it’s not seen as a debt. That is to say, we shouldn’t ever expect to be paid back.

Whatever you chose to do, do it quickly and get him out of your life ASAP. You may also ask yourself how you spent 9 months of your life with such a petty person. Were there signs that he was this creepy in the beginning that you chose to ignore? If you met someone equally as lame tomorrow, would you head for the hills or would you go for it? Learn from this experience. Let’s make sure that the time you invested (and possible the money?) doesn’t go to waste.

Good luck!



Alexis Brown