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December 10th, 2007
Dear Alexis,
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 weeks. I’m crazy about her. I’m pretty sure she’s the girl I’m going to marry. I’ve never said that about anyone before so you should know that I really believe she’s ‘the one.’ I’m pretty sure she feels the same way about me but she’s a lot more guarded. I totally haven’t admitted to her how strongly I feel… yet.
Anyway, Christmas is a big deal to her. She spends a lot of time talking about what she’s getting for this person and that person. My dilemma is that I don’t have a clue what to get for her. Although I’m nuts for her, in reality, we haven’t been together for very long. I don’t want to over do it, and I don’t want to under do it. Do you have any advice on what to give?
Timid Santa
Dear Timid,
Ah the dreaded 6 week old relationship no man’s land of gifting! You are absolutely right that overdoing it is probably just as bad as underdoing it…Especially if she’s seeming a bit lukewarm. Nothing is scarier to a girl than a guy who is just way too enthusiastic. (Probably because, thanks to so many of your fellow males, our expectations are normally pretty low.)
So as to what to get her, I’d keep it simple. Decide on your budget beforehand and then give accordingly. It’s always better if you can put some thought into it and get her something that really suits her and isn’t totally random. You may be better with one main gift and then one or two little things.
Do some research if you want her to really love it, but include a gift receipt and don’t be hurt if she decides to take it back. If you’re really stuck, you probably can’t go wrong with perfume (best to get the kind she already wears), gift certificates for the spa (if she’s that kind of girl) or maybe a sweater. The sweater could be disastrous though, if you get the wrong size.
At the end of the day just go with your gut and give from the heart. That is, unless your heart is telling you she needs a 52” LCD TV. Even if you are Donald Trump, I’d say it’s a bit early for that. Most importantly, if she really is the one, when you look back on your first Christmas together, what she’ll remember is how good it felt to be with you, not what she found under the tree.
Good luck!
Alexis Brown
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